Scott’s Blog Experience

Christmas is just around the corner. We are busy putting lights up, decorating our trees, wrapping presents, and getting ready for our once a year office Christmas Party. Ahh yes, the ol office Christmas Party. The time of year when it’s ok to make a complete ass out of yourself with little consequences. I said little consequences, not NO consequences. The time when it’s almost tradition to throw up in front of your colegues, public bathroom, or front yard. The time when some torrid sexual office affair becomes born and six months later becomes the worst fight among office workers the company has ever seen. The time when the one big mouth employee (that everyone can’t stand) gets encourged by the those same employees to tell the boss what they really think. (After your kind enough to buy them shots all night) tee hee.

But alas, that is where my sad story comes in. I own my own business. I have 0 employees, just subcontractors. Hell, they get drunk pretty much everyday. What fun is that? No, my Christmas party this year sucked.

Top 10 Things I hate about having my own Christmas Party.

1) It’s no fun sitting on the Copy Machine copying my own ass.
2) Watching Cinamax doesn’t replace a torid office sexual affair.
3) Its not funny after spiking the egg nog watching my Mom wearing on a lamp shade on her head singing “Grandma got ran over by a reindeer”
4) Calling for an esort, and….my Mom showing up wearing a lamp shade on her head singing “”Grandma got ran over by a reindeer”
5) All my multiple personalties show up for the party and argue with myself.
6) I call a cab, drive around the block just so I feel I’ve gone somewhere.
7) I see how many times I can watch “A Christmas Story” before I start loosing my mind.
8) I look in the mirror and tell my boss to go to hell.
9) It sucks cause I know who my secret santa is.

10) I got no Christmas bonus.

God I miss the Corporate world.

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